Monday, February 27, 2017

A Little Update + #MicropoetryMonday February 20 - 26, 2017



I read "Before I Fall" this weekend & adored it!



I've been writing up a storm all week. I have so many stories in progress right now that I'll never lack for something to write until they're finished. I got over the whole "I never finish anything!" "Can't I just finish something?!" feelings because they weren't helping me. They were making me neglect new ideas because I had myself convinced that it would be better to finish the current work in progress first.

When I do finish short stories (even if they took a year or more to write and might need some updating during edit) it feels like I'm saying goodbye to something (or someone) running around my head because some weeks I may only add a sentence or two to one of them, or a scene that comes much later from the point where I'm writing from. Sometimes, all I see is the ending of something and then I have to go back and figure out where it all started. That's writing though. My process has changed over the years and I just accept it and roll with it now. I'm no longer in a position to spend 8 hours in front of my keyboard like I did in the "good ole days". Instead of being upset about it, I do what I can.

I love Twitter poetry so much. On days when I can focus on nothing else, I go to it and ideas actually stem from them for longer poems or flash fiction pieces. This past week I also worked on three longer poems for my "To Edit" pile and worked a little on my Ojibwe language studies. I also read "Before I Fall" by Lauren Oliver and wow it inspired me so much. I found myself overthinking the book probably. (That's what I do. :) ) But, isn't that what makes a good book? When you can't get it out of your head? I'm much more excited to see the movie when it comes out next month. (And also hoping they don't screw it up as most fans of books that become movies do. lol)

I've been thinking about my Grandma a lot this past week as well. Today is her birthday and I usually try to celebrate by having a hot pretzel and a slurpee. It's something we used to do together quite often. Many a Kmart Cafe has been frequented by my Grandmother and I. Memories of her are some of the best of my life. She passed away when I was 16 years old but this year it feels like it just happened yesterday. I miss her so much. I'm not quite sure why all of a sudden she's on my mind again so heavily, but maybe it's because I feel lost about a lot of things. I wonder how she'd feel about the state of our world today. I wonder how my Grandma would feel about the internet mostly. haha It's not that it didn't exist when she was alive, I just know my grandparents didn't have a computer. (At least not one with internet capabilities anyway. I do recall playing Dig Dug on some contraption called a computer that took up so much space and according to my memory doesn't even come close to what we call a computer today.)

I wonder what she and my grandpa (who did know about the internet and even got into some "old man trouble" on the internet at one point) would say about everyone being glued to their devices all the time. Wisdom of elders is something I'll always be tuned into. Sure, not every elderly person is going to have sage advice for you. You're not going to agree with everyone on everything. But still, lifetimes full of experiences and witnesses to history that happened before I was born will forever be an interest of mine. I like to listen to people. I like to know who they are and where they came from. And sometimes I think older people are the best to talk to. They typically don't have a smart phone out distracting them. ;)

I'm catching up on chores today, starting a new book to read & jotting down the little verses that hit me throughout the day. I'm hoping for a good, productive week. It's all I can hope for when I feel like garbage most days. That's something I think I'm slowly letting go of too. There may not be any "I feel like I'm not even sick" days anymore. (I had 6 last year. This year so far: 0) It doesn't mean I don't look forward to one of it comes, but I'm not going to sit and wait for them anymore. I'm having much more fun working around them.

Have a great week everyone!  This "little update" turned into being a little long-winded, eh? :D



As usual, here's all the Micropoems from last week and a few glimpses from works in progress. Enjoy!


****






Assigning her a role was a mistake
Not all mothers are the same
Someone taught her to build that fence around her heart
She won't say a name


****


Gather at the midnight fire
Rushing of rattles
Begin anew

Smoke spirit transcends higher
Dawn touches dying embers
Just for you


****


Oh, they all have a way
of making you feel
just awful
for existing
Bring on the happy ending
already
Get out from under that rock
Have a day


****


Winter winds
whip back to me
Another dose
of cold reality
It's much
more pleasing
To feel fresh,
bitter air
Shivering sweetly,
overheating


****


We'll settle
for the fire light
for rainy nights
for coffee black
for massaged back
We'll take it
over slammed doors
over sleeping on floors


****


Over absorbed,
a prickly sponge

Even with
repetitive
self wringing

Tossed away,
like trash
because nothing
so dirty
can be made
to clean


****


Blessings beat up the bad stuff
Keeping focused on the good
doesn't make me tough
It gives me things
to grasp onto
when it all gets
too rough


****


Conversations w/ the Radio:
Sorry Stevie,
Thunder happened when angry footfalls pounded steps on sunny days
& the worst lightning was to come


****


Winged messenger
gifts me a feather
I feel it's a calling from home

Greater Lakes, Greater Skies
The ones I'm missing are there
I fly alone


****


The duel of two voices
one in error
one in truth
Make light
the weight
of heavy choices
"Don't tell me
what to do"
Both belong
to you


****


Spirit, quell the fire in my belly
Give me my broken heart
I can no longer feel it
Bless those who protect Mother
Forgive those who steal it


****


Tears of gratitude,
A moment to collect
my scattered pieces,
A breath of strength,
A moment
Just a moment
To hear wisdom
in the silence


****


Eyes follow
Menacing moon glints
off tin-toothed grin
Maps, scarred over
& nearly invisible
on tattooed skin
No sound as
the knife goes in


****


Spinning globes
in search of gold
Twisted mustache
with his razor sharp plans
Ego consumes
There will be nothing
left of him
to eat his riches


****


Bowie plays
in his head
like his theme song
He struts, tuts,
puts it all on his tab
The whisky, the peanuts,
open mouths on the slab
Fame


****


All her binds
unraveling
Vicious vines
bear sacred fruit
Crawling through the dirt;
 chrysalis traveling
In secret, hanging from
the shoot


****


Penny candy store tour
8 blocks wasn't far then
On roller skates
No transport? I'll tow you on my bike
For an ice cream cone
That's a bargain


****


I didn't know prayers
were so scary that you need
weapons against them
How will you handle
the shame that haunts you? Will you
hear the women cry?


****


No one informs
to make you feel dumb

If you're taken aback
be thankful
you don't
understand
how our tones
can be so angry

Be glad for that


****


"I think you should try to..."
Not tell anyone how they should handle feelings
what they should feel
how they should feel
how they shouldn't


****


When there were cornfields
the ghosts of girls dashed
through rows of gold
Grown, they gaze at the barren land
They plant seeds
Stand again


****


Last cold snap
We cuddle under fuzzy blankets
You warm my ice cube hands
Steam from teacups rises
We make stories out of
the wispy shapes


****


Dainty dame
could play the game
to a point of her own making
Tiny tiger,
with angry sparrows in her roar
left the jungle shaking


****


can you walk through crammed
crowds              without      
    c r In G ing              at their  
               conversations?


****





Squeaking chair on the hardwood
You've said all you could for the day
You shuffle,
defeated dance,
to the back porch
light up a smoke
& pray


****


Unfortunate events indeed
Graffiti secrets
Firefly flickering
of the fluorescent faced mean girl
I'll show her
Scrubbing furiously


****


Does a dimming candle think about
how far he's truly come?
Only when he's burnt out,
in desolate darkness,
End of the wick,
Done


****


Too close
When he showed up at that party
When you ducked out the back
Hitched that ride from your best
  acquaintance & cried silently home


****


Head of iron lead
I awoke to the pounding
 of a tired heart
Feet on frozen floor
Mid afternoon start
Aching to sleep more
 in this
dead bed


****


They're calling it
The Age of Cruelty
For me,
it's the Age of
It Makes Total
Sense That I've
Lived My Whole Life
Feeling I Just
Don't Belong


****


Sleepwalking
Under the Same Moon
On the old Dead End Street
Again
Gravel embedded In My Soles
Too Many Miles
On these Same Old Feet
Again


****


Dear Summer,
You can stay away.
Mirage heat. Dryness.
Boiling, blinding,
ball of flame.
Burning skin from within.
I'll hang here in winter.


****


Twitching until something happens...

   the visions

                        of those minutes...

when the chain

                 slackens


****


The midnight hour
The pipes pop,
the TV stand snaps
as it settles
& I can't sit still
The winds have calmed;
an electric energy
remains


****


He tried to utter
'I love you'
I begged
him
not to
   say it
Wasn't our time

In this fairy tale
I was the villain,
The other woman


****


I love shining soul lights
unafraid
I hope to catch a sliver of that blinding courage
to use when my flame is doused
to spark to life again


****


Questioning looks
from every cloudy eye
Confusion contusion
from trampling tensions
on high
The elite lie & deny
as blood rains from the sky


****


I saw painted bodies
pirouetting in the prism plane
Rainbow limbs wrapping around
each other
Embracing eternity
Pastel shades
in their veins


****


I'm safe
in my palace of pillows
when he's away
I'm strong
perusing pages
penning pain
I'm not alone,
that birdsong
keeps me company
all day


****


Crushed & withered,
the first rose
from the last love
It bloomed once,
was beautiful
Now abandonment
is the heart
of this flower


****


Descend
into the nothing
that you are,
falling star
I won't succumb
to your flashy
advances
Just dull,
become a
bitter Black Hole


****


Her majesty, The Moon
Powerful Pearl over The Lagoon
smiles at the Free Love Frogs,
sings above The Sound
Shy Stars turn around


****


I saw time stop
The trees were fluttering
They stilled like the stone in my chest
You were a dream, as always
Yet I was awake


****


Don't be late, love
I'll meet you deep
beneath the sea
Under cover of kelp
no one to help
keep you from me
Follow my siren song
You'll see


****


Coat closet hideout
Plethora of smells,
the cast of characters of childhood
They all blend together & I hug them,
their coats, all at once


****


Sage advice
from the woman in the red coat
Heels clicking down the alleyway
each step pinging off trashcans
"Never pass up a second chance"


****


"You wanna dance,
fancypants?"

She's a ticking time bomb
in plum red

Unrestricted,
she stalks the districts

I can't get her
outta my head


****


I get these oceans of notions
Then doubt creeps in
& I pull my own plug
Sweep sentiments under the rug
Watch my big ideas
drain away from me


****


I stumble awake,
an alarm of thudding walls
Picture frames rattle
in gray lit halls
Next door blasts jazz
loud & clear
You must be new here


****







Haiku:


The future will be
mute because no one will feel
safe enough to speak


****


A whole ocean of
thoughts, & a lone oar trying
to settle the waves


****


Taste of blackberries,
first of the season. They melt
right into the tongue.


****


I'm not a pond. You
can't fish words out of my mouth.
I'll not be reeled in.


****


This road is too long.
I am turning corners with
both hands on the wheel.

Stop, look both ways &
proceed with caution.  I won't
forget what you said.


****


Sometimes I think I
wouldn't be here if it weren't
for the poetry


****


I twiddle & wait
so patiently until the
poem comes to me


****


VSS (Very Short Stories): 



"Lyrical"

His lyrical speech dazzled the
crowds, renewing their dwindling faith.


****


"Horizon"

The seas were churning before
ships appeared on the horizon.


****


Courtesy of Tragic Beautiful



"Peeling Away"


Her filthy hair covered her wild eyes from me. I could only hear her odd grunting as she peeled away her fingernails one by one.


****


"Clever"

So clever, their reiterated insults,
we've heard them all before.


****


Grandma took me to see the Disney Pocahontas as a kid. She fell asleep about 15 min in. After a few years, I understood why.


****


"I'm so sad about..."
"But it's just a poem."
"Yeah, but, so sad, so deep, so...I'm sorry that happened."
"It didn't, it's a poem."
"What?!"


****


"Song"

I only need a song's
length to tell a story.


****






WIP (Works in Progress): 


--The hotel sprung into view. It loomed over the lake like Raquelle's aunt had loomed over us girls when we giggled loudly at tea.


--"A cone?!" Raquelle screeched at me over her dish as if cones were a mortal sin. "Do you want to be a whale by summer's end?!"


****


--The scenes play out like a bad high school play. Barely legible lines scribbled on index cards. He's not even talking to her when he speaks.








2 comments:

  1. I seriously adore your poetry. You have a great talent :)
    I've come to realize over time that it's not a bad thing to have numerous works in progress at a time. You have to act on inspiration as it comes, and some days you might feel more inspired to work in one thing that day, and a difgerent thing the next. So long as you are happy just go with I'm working on this, too ;)
    Lately, I've been wondering what kinds of stories/wisdom I and other people our age will have to impart when we are elders.. we, as the tech-crazy generation. Kind of freaky, eh?
    <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for your compliment! Writing always brings me much happiness so as long as I'm doing it, I'm alright. 😃 And yes! Even now people will remind me of things from the "early days" of the internet & I have to stop & be amazed because some of these things are like 20 years old now. Wow. Time really does fly.

      Delete